Today I Cried

I only went and fucking did it
Used to be a dream but now I fucking live it
Weren't even writing raps I was down and out about to fucking quit it
Lucky for me that I fucking didn't
See lily came along when I was at my lowest
Selling wraps of coke not the raps I flow with
I made it and I owe to a chat I had with her,
Who knows where I'd be if that chat hadn't occurred
Back with the bag, with the bag full of herbs init
Instead I got her on a track and I murdered it
My name started causing murmurs in the industry
But none of these labels would work with it until virgin did
Put my first single out and we earned a hit
That's why we never believe in darkness
I know it must burn a bit
Just did a show and everybody knew the words to it
The day I risked everything for I couldn't have given anything more all these years have weighed heavy
But this is something that nothing could have readied me for
What you think all my problems are remedied cos' I get an applause, there not
Today I cried
And I don't know why
But today I cried
And I don't know whyyy x2
My single went in at 3
My album went in at 2
For a debut not to shabby if I have to I make do
Finally some form of reward for the things I came through
But it's different to the perfect picture people paint you
On the way up you might be a person people take to
Then you break through and the same people who rated you hate to
All of a sudden anything you do may do may make news
And I'm sick to death of explaining was is and aint' true
Spend a day in my shoes and maybe you would feel the same to
Though I know I've got to make the most of it there will be no take 2
And ungrateful I would hate to seem cos' I'm leaving my dream now
But I don't sleep now
And all the hours awake are making me senile
Snap every time i'm seen out
Even people I've been round my whole life are looking at me like I'm a new me now
They say I've changed but I just don't see how
I've always lived my life taking corners that I can't see round
Never knowing what it is I'm trying to seek out
But I'm even beginning to question me now
Today I cried
And I don't know why
But today I cried
And I don't know whyyy (don't know why I crieddd)
I know it must seem mad to you
It's mad to me
All I've done is what I've had to do
Been who I've had to be
But the path I've walked has been so gravely
It's been a strain to remain humane amongst all this inhumanity
Thankfully I had nan who was a mum and dad to me
You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family
Temporary happiness for me has been a fallacy
Stick your sympathy it means jack to me
Sick of hearing how happy I should be
I just don't know how to be
I can no longer pretend
No more making out to be
Maybe all I needs a slap,
Someone to shake it out of me
Help me to spell my irrational thoughts think more rationally
Sick of being in the state of vanity
It's agony
Am I torn or is it all some twisted form of vanity
Can it be I'm really just obsessed with myself, obsessive compulsive depressed, my pressures reflecting my health
Taking care of my career but I'm neglecting myself
Rejected therapy no I just won't except any help
I pride myself on my honestly but in all honestly today I lied
I was asked how I was and I said I was fine, I'm not
Today I cried
And I don't know why
But today I cried
And I don't know whyyy x3